Self Bliss

We Are All Warriors

September 20, 2018

We Are All Worriers

Some days are super easy, when the sun is shining and you are off to a running start, slaying that to-do list, puffing out your chest a little, and giving yourself a pat on the back for everything you’ve accomplished. What a great day!!

Other days…not so much. Those days when plans unexpectedly get derailed, nothing goes right, when the guilt and fear creeps in. When the worry takes over, and you’re so tired of fighting these losing battles.

We are all worriers to some degree. Some people manage okay, some just hide it better. As single moms, we have to shoulder the burden of worries all alone. Are the kids doing okay in school? Do they have enough friends (or the “right” kind)? Is that sniffle a cold or just allergies? Will there be enough to cover the bills this month? What can I make for dinner tonight? Wait, did I turn the stove off when I left this morning?…

When You Finally Forget Your Anniversary

September 11, 2018

Your Wedding Anniversary

Remembering your wedding anniversary. That day is usually etched into one’s mind, or at least you hope it is! Hoping that your husband doesn’t forget your anniversary, maybe gets you flowers and a card, takes you out for dinner. It becomes the running joke after so many years. Will he remember? How bad do you lay on the guilt when he forgets?

But once you’re divorced, that day takes on a completely new meaning. It’s a not-so-happy reminder that can leave you upset, grieving, or angry, all over again. You can’t seem to get it out of your mind. It looms there, every year, like some broken record on repeat. A day you would love to erase from time itself. Will you ever forget your anniversary?

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Why A Self Care Getaway Is So Important

July 21, 2018

The Idea Of A Self Care Getaway

The idea of a self care getaway seems so foreign to most moms, especially single moms. There’s the immediate logistics…who will look after the kids? Where will I find the money? Can I actually go, by myself? And of course, there’s the guilt…I have too much going on, I can’t spare the money, my kids would miss me too much.

Most days you do it all…work, parent, cook, clean, run errands, pay bills…the list goes on and on (and on…and on…). But what about you, dear mama? What do you do for you?

If you aren’t taking the time to refill your own bucket, very quickly you will run out of everything to give…patience, understanding, encouragement, and most importantly, love. You know the signs, because you’ve seen them, and usually when you’re almost on empty.

Your fuse is shorter. You don’t have the patience to deal with the meltdowns and tantrums and “Yuck, I’m not eating that”. And you catch yourself yelling and screaming in frustration, only to see that look of shock and borderline terror in your child’s face before they burst into tears, and you melt into a puddle of your own. Or if you’ve managed to keep it in check, it’s when you’re in the shower, crying to yourself because it’s the only place you can get any privacy (well, until some little human bursts through the door without knocking)….

Books Every Woman Needs To Read During Divorce

July 11, 2018

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Books Every Woman Needs To Read

You see them now and then, those lists of books every woman needs to read. One or two you may have already read. A few you’ve had on your mental list for a while. Reading might once have been a passion for you, an important hobby. But now? The idea of making time to read in the middle of your life turning upside down seems impossible!

When you are facing divorce, staring down the idea of suddenly being a single mom (although really, who are we kidding, you’ve been doing the job of single mom for how long now…but I digress…) it’s all you can do to keep it together. Reading a book is not high on the to-do list.

But hear me out. It could end up being a lifeline for you. For your kids. For the mom you want to be, for the mom they NEED you to be!

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Dealing With Divorce and Moving On – 5 Tips To See You Through

June 17, 2018

Dealing with divorce and moving on is never easy, especially after a long marriage, or when you didn’t want the divorce. When you have kids, the added perspective of suddenly being a single mom can be downright daunting. No matter how much or how little your ex is involved in your children’s lives, it’s still pretty overwhelming to face being on your own, raising these tiny humans.

My ex-husband first asked me for a divorce when I was 18 weeks pregnant with our second son. I tried to save my marriage for the sake of my son and the baby on the way, but it just didn’t work out. We officially split when my youngest was just 3 months old. It’s a long story, and one I hope to tell one day, when the time is right.

At the time, all I could do was go on autopilot. Getting my oldest off to school, tending to a baby, splitting and packing up a household to start over, not to mention going back to full-time shift work, it was overload and overwhelm. I was dealing with a rollercoaster of emotions, stages of grief, guilt and anger that I thought I had tackled, only to circle back around and face them again.

That was almost 11 years ago now. It feels both like forever and the blink of an eye. Even now it’s challenging to look back and dredge up old memories and emotions, but I hope in sharing my experiences and strategies it can help others facing the same situation. You can get through divorce emotionally, move forward, and have a happy life that’s YOURS!

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