Your Wedding Anniversary
Remembering your wedding anniversary. That day is usually etched into one’s mind, or at least you hope it is! Hoping that your husband doesn’t forget your anniversary, maybe gets you flowers and a card, takes you out for dinner. It becomes the running joke after so many years. Will he remember? How bad do you lay on the guilt when he forgets?
But once you’re divorced, that day takes on a completely new meaning. It’s a not-so-happy reminder that can leave you upset, grieving, or angry, all over again. You can’t seem to get it out of your mind. It looms there, every year, like some broken record on repeat. A day you would love to erase from time itself. Will you ever forget your anniversary?
My Wedding Story
We were married September 9, 2000. I planned and prepared for months, and did most everything myself…the flowers, the wedding cake, the decorations, programs, and schedules. It was a great wedding, held at a small victorian hotel. Like all weddings, there were a few hiccups, like the ushers (my new brother-in-laws) forgetting to hand out the programs and bubbles, causing us to miss out on the carefully planned group photo. Or like my groom disappearing for a few hours, dealing with the police, who were about to arrest his little brother for arguing with his girlfriend on the offramp of the highway nearby. Or my new in-laws complaining about their room bill the next morning.
But overall, it was wonderful, surrounded by friends and family that night, and at breakfast the next morning, celebrating my grandfather, Pa’s 70th birthday! I still pat myself on the back for planning an epic party people talked about for years, and I looked (and felt) amazing in that dress.
We spent our first anniversary at the same hotel where we married a year earlier. A night away to mark a special day. Pa’s 71st birthday the next day. Then 9/11. Everyone knows where they were that day.
Every year after, those 3 days came around, 2 celebrations, and a pause to remember. Our family grew, the first grandchild and great-grandchild. We bought our first house. Life ticked on.
By 2007, I was busy with a new baby, a 4 year old just starting school, and embroiled in a battle to save my crumbling marriage. Little did I know that my marriage had actually been over for almost a year. He had started a new life with someone else, and forgot the part where he was supposed to leave me first. There was no anniversary celebration that year. Pa’s birthday and 9/11 were just a blur. Life ticked on.
A year later, I cringed and cried when the calendar flipped over to September. My “anniversary”…divorced, single mom with two little boys. We celebrated what would be Pa’s last birthday with us. And 9/11. My divorce order arrived in the mail the following day. He ended up marrying the affair, the following year, almost to the day. He never really was known for his originality.
Forget Your Anniversary
It took 7 years for that day to pass unnoticed by me. I sat there stunned when my mom reminded me it was September 10, Pa’s birthday. I had completely forgotten the significance of the day before. And right there, I stopped and did a little happy dance. A celebration, forgetting a date that I thought would be a painful reminder forever.
Flash forward to today. I was writing excuse slips for school, for my boys appointments later this afternoon. Looking at the calendar, I realized today is 9/11. Not only had I completely missed the dreaded date, but I also missed Pa’s birthday.
Today, there is a pause to remember, a toast to a grandfather not forgotten, and a celebration.
Life ticks on.
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