Who Are You?
Do you catch yourself looking in the mirror, staring at the familiar face, yet it feels strange. Like “who is this person staring back at me?” There’s a glimpse of a girl from long ago, maybe a twinkle in the eye, a glimmer of hope, a spark of a fire, still present in the embers.
Maybe you ask that face in the mirror, silently (or out loud)…”Who are you?” And you’re hoping for the answer to that question. Hoping to figure out this new identity, your place in the world.
This was me the other day. Mid teeth brushing.
So I did a quick search on google (because that’s where we go for all the answers to the philosophical mysteries of the universe). It yields up lyric videos of the classic song “Who Are You” by none other than The Who. And I suddenly have the urge to stream past episodes of CSI.
Who are you? I really want to know.
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There’s also a second video option from an unknown-to-me artist, Svrcina, with a song that feels like it belongs in an episode of the Vampire Diaries (adds to the binge watch list).
Meaning of Who Are You
After all the song lyric and wikipedia results, there a playlist of TED talks. One in particular by the author of “Who Are You Really?” Brian R. Little. Bookmark to watch that later. (I may have also added the book to my Amazon Wish List).
Following that, there’s the dark side in Urban Dictionary’s definition;
“A rhetorical question, generally in the form of an insulting chant, accompanied by finger-pointing; meant as abuse to a single person or team performing in front of a crowd, by indicating that they are unknown and insignificant.”
Not very inspiring.
Searching “Who are you?” in Pinterest delivers a variety of inspirational quotes and quizzes a la “What crayon color are you?” or “What Pixar character are you?” While these might be fun, temporary distractions from life, they certainly aren’t going to help in the search for answers.
Who Am I?
So let’s get right down to it…who am I?
At least Google offers up some better search results this time. We get some meaning behind the phrase. Among the quizzes and song lyrics with a decidedly religious slant, there’s this article from Psychology Today, in which author Mel Schwartz tells us the better question to ask is “How Would I Like To Experience My Life?”
Now we’re getting somewhere. Instead of asking the question that doesn’t really have a concrete answer, let’s try shifting the focus and regain the control. I love the sense of ownership in this question; how would I like to experience MY life?
How Would You Like To Experience Your Life?
Maybe in this chapter of your life, whether you’re newly divorced, trying to navigate the whole idea of being a single mom, while simultaneously redefining who exactly you are now, it’s better to focus on what you squarely have in your control. How YOU want to experience YOUR life going forward.
Don’t discount how important this is for you! In the sudden (or not so sudden) shift of being the sole person wearing the multitude of hats…breadwinner, parent, housekeeper, cook, taxi driver, nurse, and so many more…doing it all takes a toll on you. Especially if you don’t tend to yourself to fill up the stores of energy and love.
You can’t drink from a dry well.
Figuring Out What Inspires You
The first step is figuring out what fills up that well. What is important to you? Brings you joy? Inspires you? Kids fill these “Who Am I?” worksheets all the time, but what about when you’re an adult?
Make a list (grab the free printable worksheet below) and brainstorm.
Here’s some ideas to get you started…
- reading a good book
- writing in a journal
- watching a grown-up movie, tv show, documentary
- making art, crafting
- going for a walk
- doing yoga
- savouring a piece of dark chocolate
- soaking in the tub
- watching the sunrise, sunset or star-gazing
- playing sports
- dancing in the living room
- having coffee with a friend
- girls night out
- taking a course
Make An Appointment With Yourself
Now look at your list and pick one thing you could do every day. It could be the same thing, or a few different things, but make a point of indulging in something every day that is just for you. Schedule it in your calendar, just like any other appointment.
And keep that appointment no matter what. If your child was sick, and you had a doctor’s appointment, you wouldn’t miss it, or put it off, or reschedule it for another day. Treat this with the same level of importance.
Because you are important. And doing this for yourself will make a difference in who you are, and how you experience your life.
Asking these questions may not solve all your problems, but it is a start to YOU creating small changes that put you back in control. Where you go from there? The possibilities are limitless!
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